Week 1 of the NFL season ended with a game Detroit won by blowing a 21-point lead and then surviving a two-point conversion attempt on the final play. That is not the kind of result that gets filed under normal. The Lions led the Saints 21-0 with five minutes left in the third quarter and somehow trailed before the game went to overtime. They won anyway, and the newsletter writer, calling himself “Professor Breech,” is already treating it as one of the best games of the 2026 season.
The rest of the weekend was just as wild. The Bears dropped 59 points on the Panthers. The Chargers Charger’d harder than they’ve ever Charger’d before. America’s Team got embarrassed in front of America. And there were two scorigamis in one day for the first time in seven years.
Bills Finally Win in Houston
The Bills beat the Texans 31-36, and the newsletter writer sees it as a signal of what this season could become. Josh Allen threw for 334 yards and two touchdowns against a defense that was supposed to be one of the best in the league. He found Josh Palmer for a 34-yard touchdown with 1:34 remaining, and the game-winning throw sealed the win.
Buffalo’s addition of DJ Moore is already proving to be a brilliant move. The new receiver hauled in five catches for 100 yards, including a 43-yard reception in the opening half.
Allen’s play has been this good consistently, and it gives the Bills defense room to improve even though it remains unfinished work. The final mark stands at B+.
Houston’s Defense Struggles
The Houston Texans were projected to field one of the NFL’s top defenses this season, yet they are not delivering it. After one week, their defense was shredded by one of the league’s premier quarterbacks, which means the poor showing on Sunday should not embarrass anyone. Still, Week 2 brings no relief, with Joe Burrow waiting in the wings.
C.J. Stroud had a solid game, but he cemented the loss after losing a fumble on Houston’s final possession. The defense won’t give up 36 points every week, but this was certainly an unexpectedly poor performance to see from them in Week 1. The grade: B-.
Cardinals Dominate Chargers From Start to Finish
From start to finish in Los Angeles, the Cardinals never fell behind. They proved superior across every phase of the contest. On offense, Jacoby Brissett outdid Justin Herbert, while his side racked up 394 yards of total offense.
Arizona’s defense smothered the Chargers’ offense: Herbert was sacked three times, and the Cards forced two turnovers while also making three fourth-down stops.
The special teams made a difference. In the fourth quarter, Arizona blocked a punt that set up a touchdown, which sealed the outcome. New Cardinals coach Mike LaFleur got his first career victory, and if the team keeps performing at this level, he’ll likely accumulate many more wins this season. The grade is an A.
Chargers Crashed and Burned
Justin Herbert had the opportunity to put Los Angeles ahead near the end of the first half. Instead, he was sacked on a fourth-and-goal from Arizona’s 3-yard line. The failure on that play seemed to take the wind out of the Chargers’, and the Chargers’ offensive drive came to an end.
In the second half, the Chargers mustered just 117 yards of offense. If this team can’t get things turned around quickly, it’s going to be a long season in L.A. The grade: D.
Other Grades Are Out There
All 15 games have been ranked by the newsletter writer, and readers can step through the complete set at their own pace. The two highlighted matches sum up the day’s action: one squad hit its peak, while another dropped to its lowest point.
| Team | Result | Key Player | Grade |
|---|---|---|---|
| Bills | 36-31 over Texans | Josh Allen | B+ |
| Cardinals | 26-14 over Chargers | Jacoby Brissett | A |
| Texans | 36-31 loss to Bills | C.J. Stroud | B- |
| Chargers | 26-14 loss to Cardinals | Justin Herbert | D |
Winners and Losers: Deshaun Watson Is On the List
The newsletter’s weekly winners and losers section is titled “You Can Probably Guess Which List Deshaun Watson Is On.” The Browns’ QB threw an interception on the Browns’ opening drive and the team lost 34-10 to the Jacksonville Jaguars. Coach Todd Monken called it “unfair” to place all the blame for the loss on the starting quarterback, but he conceded that he needs to “evaluate everything” before he commits to Watson as the starter for Week 2.
Watson’s first mistake came early. He threw an interception on the Browns’ opening drive, which took their first possession away from them. Now the Browns must determine quickly whether he is the solution they need in Cleveland, and Week 2 will serve as the trial.
The First Weekend Was Bonkers
The newsletter writer started by noting that the first full Sunday of the season had come and gone, and suggested that if the first weekend was any indication of how wild things will get this year, he’ll need to use the word “bonkers” a lot this season. Week 1 was utterly bonkers.
The Lions built a 21-point lead before losing it, only to come back and win in overtime — a result that defied expectations. The Bears put up 59 points, an offensive display that changes how a team is viewed. The Chargers, meanwhile, fell apart against the Cardinals in a collapse that raises questions about the entire rebuild.
Unpredictability runs through all three games. The Lions were not supposed to give up that lead. The Bears were not supposed to put up that kind of point total. The Chargers were not supposed to come apart like that.
It was bonkers. It will likely stay that way.
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