Jordon Hudson dusts herself off and resumes her WAG duties, Belichick vs Sydney Sweeney & ‘Gainesville Ripper’
Jordon Hudson has emerged from the shadows after months of silence, and OutKick’s Nightcaps column is treating her return as the biggest news of the day. The column, published Wednesday, opens with a welcome-back note to Belichick’s girlfriend, who appeared at UNC’s beatdown of East Tennessee State over the weekend after months of radio silence.
Hudson’s Return to Chapel Hill
The column describes Hudson’s absence as total: no social media posts, no pictures, no passive-aggressive posts from Nantucket. The writer speculates that either Bill Belichick begged her to lay low or UNC had a talk with her, or both. Either way, the timing is perfect for college football season.
The Tar Heels are 2-0, and they face Clemson on Saturday. Hudson’s first public appearance in months comes at a moment when UNC fans need a familiar presence.
The Sydney Sweeney Commercial Backlash
The column then pivots to a familiar target: Sydney Sweeney. A post titled “What’s Sydney Sweeney Have To Do To Get The Approval Of White Women? Strangle Three Kids?” draws the column’s sharpest ire, which the writer frames as part of a broader pattern of online outrage.
Between that, and the equally dumb outrage over a college kid laughing at a stupid AI video, the column argues that we’ve really outdone ourselves this week as a society. The writer suffers through an entire summer of women dragging Sophie Cunningham through the mud for saying men don’t belong in women’s sports, while cheering on Lindsay Clancy and being furious at the one juror who refused to budge.
“And now they’re going to sit here and lecture me on a Sydney Sweeney commercial for sports gambling?” the column asks. “Come on. Let’s not be silly.”
Duff’s Brutal Debut and the Gainesville Ripper
After a digression on the Craig Carton Show, the column moves to lighter fare: an AI golf announcer named “Duff” having a brutal debut, wild moments from baseball, and Paulina Gretzky at the US Open. Then it lands on the headline act.
The column’s anchor story is a 30 for 30 documentary about the “14 Days in Gainesville” saga, a serial killer story that unfolded as the Gators hired Spurrier. The writer admits having no clue this story existed, despite growing up about an hour east of Gainesville as a Gators fan during the Tebow era.
The column notes that the original “Scream” movie in 1996 was loosely based on this, and that “Scream II” takes place on a college campus. The more you know!
The Writer’s View From Florida
The column is written by someone who identifies as a Florida guy, having lived there his whole life except for a few years in liberal (but beautiful) Boston for college. He frames the Gainesville story as a fascination, not a judgment.
The column closes with a reminder that fall technically begins next Tuesday, astronomically speaking, and that the dew points around the state are supposed to drop 10 degrees. It’s still unbearably hot, but at least it’ll be slightly less humid for a few hours in the morning.
KEY FACTS BOX
– Hudson returned publicly over the weekend at UNC’s beatdown of East Tennessee State
– UNC is 2-0 heading into the Clemson game on Saturday
– The 30 for 30 documentary covers the “14 Days in Gainesville” serial killer saga
– Fall begins astronomically on next Tuesday
– Dew points in Florida are dropping 10 degrees
The column’s tone is amused throughout, treating Hudson’s return as a pleasant distraction from the outrage machine. It mocks the Sweeney backlash, the Sophie Cunningham feud, and the Lindsay Clancy fandom with equal shrug. The Gainesville Ripper story gets a fascinated nod, and the baseball and golf sections are quick and light.
This is a column that wants you to laugh at the absurdity of it all — the outrage, the hypocrisy, the seasonal rhythms of sports fandom. It is not a serious analysis of any of it. It is a Hump Day diversion, and it succeeds at that.
See the video the story is built around at Foxnews.
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