A user on TikTok laid out the absolute least she wants from someone on a first date, and the post has gathered well over 1.2 million likes and 108,000 saves at the time it was published. Her demands range from getting to his feet when she shows up through paying for the meal to sending a message when he finally arrives back home.
@itsnotcourtneybell posted the video on September 11, and it sets out rules for men who wish to get through a first date without upsetting anyone.
Standing Up and Reservations
A man ought to arrange the evening’s practicalities first: securing a table at a restaurant, making a reservation, and sending her the particulars ahead of time by text. Then he must summon a vehicle to fetch her and wait standing until she arrives.
Conversation Standards
Keeping things balanced is key here. The advice from the poster tells men to ask her questions about herself just as much as they talk about themselves. She also notes that conversations about themselves should go beyond surface level, including plenty of detail and depth.
At the end of the date, the poster offers a short list of don’ts. Don’t ask her to go home with you. Don’t hint she should go home with you. Don’t hint you want to go home with her. The date should end with a simple goodbye and a text asking her to confirm she made it home safely.
Follow-Up After the Date
The list becomes truly detailed in its follow-up advice. She suggests he text her to confirm she made it home, and then text her again the following day to remind her how great the date was. He should also ask about her schedule for another date and let her know what he has planned.
The closing item on her list takes the form of a question directed at the audience: “Any questions?”
Commenters Weigh In
Commenters responded with a mix of agreement and skepticism. One argued that the entire list becomes irrelevant if there’s mutual interest. “Fellas if she likes you, you don’t have to do 90% of this. She’ll be all over you.”
A commenter objected to the notion that this level of effort holds up in today’s dating scene. They pointed out that men who had already tried to impress women before did none of what the list sets out, and advised viewers against setting expectations they cannot meet.
Another user responded to the list by speaking directly to men who may feel they cannot afford to date because of it, saying: “Btw if Youre a man and saying you cant afford these things thats okay don’t date!”
A writer said that ordinary kindness is already widespread among women, and they put it this way: “Mind you women will do this for their friends and never expect anything out of it.”.
The Daily Dot’s Note
The Daily Dot has not confirmed the personal stories mentioned in the comments on this video. The information given above is based on the video posted by the TikTok creator on TikTok.
There is disagreement about the list. Some people agree with it, while others do not. The two reactions can be seen together in the comments section.
| Step | Action |
|---|---|
| Before the date | Pick a restaurant, make a reservation, text the details, send a car |
| During the date | Ask questions, share details, stand up when she arrives |
| At the end | Swiftly pick up the check, tip well, say goodbye, text her when she gets home |
| After the date | Confirm she got home, text the next day, plan the next date |
A collection of guidelines exists to help people manage their first dates, and opinions on these rules fall into two camps: some commenters endorse the standards, while others reject them.
Source material: “A Woman Listed the Bare Minimum She Expects From a First Date — Stand Up When She Arrives, Pick Up the Check, and Text Her When She’s Home,” The Daily Dot.
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