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TikToker Who Spent Her Whole Life Dating Men Says Her First Relationship With a Woman Changed How She Communicates

A TikToker who dated only men says her first relationship with a woman changed how she communicates, drawing thousands of reactions.

By mitch·4 min read
Two women sit closely together on a sofa, sharing an intimate moment.

Before she met her girlfriend, the creator, who posts as @brianaksmith, dated only men for her entire life. Her first serious relationship with a woman came later, and she says it altered how she communicates. She began dating her current partner at 32, and she observed significant changes in how she interacted with others.

The creator’s video has gathered over 69,000 likes and roughly 1,116 comments as of publication. She said she could not conceal small changes around her girlfriend. A shift in energy, a facial expression or a sarcastic remark was enough to prompt questions about what was wrong.

The experience taught her she could no longer remain silent when something troubled her. She spoke warmly of her girlfriend, praising her for treating her worries with genuine seriousness. Problems get talked through together, and solutions are sought as a pair. She recounted receiving apologies, reassurance and real changes in behavior afterward. It was that experience that showed her that speaking up about her needs could actually make a difference.

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She is eager for instant responses to her actions and words, especially when they upset her girlfriend. The fact that she notices such reactions means she stays attuned to how her partner feels. According to her, that awareness between the two of them is one of the best parts of their relationship.

What Viewers Said

Viewers described comparable experiences. One person commented, “Welcome to being with a woman, we pay attention. Lol.” A second viewer complimented the communication, noting, “There is just more emotional intelligence with a woman to woman relationship.” Both agreed that being emotionally present can change a relationship.

Other TikTok users challenged the creator’s comparison between women and men. One wrote, “That’s called a healthy relationship and an emotionally aware person.” They added, “It’s not like that with everyone though.” Another user connected the experience with gay relationships, writing, “Gay men say the same thing.”

Several people commented on the amount of discussion possible when two partners stay emotionally engaged. One person wrote, “It’s amazing how one conversation can be productive, caring, sexy, romantic and flirty.” They noted that speaking with their partner felt “so fun.”, a detail that underscored the closeness that can develop from steady dialogue.

Another commenter wrote, “A man will never be able to love a woman the way another woman can. UNMATCHED!!” That comment captured the enthusiasm behind many responses. However, other viewers pushed back against treating emotional awareness as inherently gendered.

The Creator’s Own Account

She said her partnership pushed her to grow more attuned to her emotions and better at talking about them. Her partner’s careful attention helped her work through her feelings rather than hiding them.

“It’s not like that with everyone though.”

This video describes a relationship history and series of events, and The Daily Dot has not confirmed these details through its own reporting. The information comes from a personal account posted on TikTok by @brianaksmith.

Comment Response
“Welcome to being with a woman, we pay attention. Lol.” Agreement with emotional attentiveness
“There is just more emotional intelligence with a woman to woman relationship.” Agreement with emotional attentiveness
“That’s called a healthy relationship and an emotionally aware person.” Challenge to the comparison
“It’s not like that with everyone though.” Challenge to the comparison
“Gay men say the same thing.” Connection to gay relationships
“A man will never be able to love a woman the way another woman can. UNMATCHED!!” Enthusiasm for the relationship

The Reaction Breakdown

There is a clear divide between personal experience and wider assumptions about gender at play here. A few commenters praised the relationship as evidence of emotional intelligence, while others wondered if the creator’s experience is unique to women or simply characteristic of healthy partnerships. The video’s popularity signals that the subject matter struck a chord with many people.

The creator’s own framing was personal growth, not a statement about all women or all men. She described her girlfriend’s attentiveness as the driver of her own change.

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