SNL’s cold open went full MAGA this week, and it leaned on a parade of Republican figures to make the point. The NBC late-night sketch took aim at the GOP’s midterm desperation with a parody ad that featured Pete Hegseth, Marco Rubio, J.D. Vance and Mitch McConnell, all played by SNL regulars.
The Setup
The setup was simple. Mickey Day played a wheelchair-bound Mitch McConnell, 84 years old and still running the Senate. He tried to kick off a “Live from New York” broadcast before RNC ad consultants cut him off. That set up a round of jokes about the GOP’s scramble to win November’s elections.
The Round of Jokes
Marcello Hernández took on Marco Rubio, delivering a “He tricked us” line in Spanish. Jeremy Culhane played a 2028 J.D. Vance who nobody wanted to put in an actual spot. Then Colin Jost stepped in as Weekend Update co-anchor Pete Hegseth.
The Trump Pitch
“What’s up, schlong donkeys?” Jost’s Hegseth began, setting up what the sketch described as one of the greatest campaign ads ever — though it was clearly not real. “Now listen up, okay, because I need all you patriots at home to do the gayest thing ever and vote. Thanks to me, the military finally has its priorities and sexuality straight.”
Jost’s Hegseth added some slam poetry before closing with a pitch for voting by mail. “In conclusion, vote, I guess. And remember, even if you’re stationed overseas, you can still vote by mail, which is the only by mail I’m cool with,” he said.
The Extra Length
Unlike many too-long cold opens, this one benefited from its length. That was because the joke had to go further, and POTUS himself came to deliver it.
“I’m President Trump and I approve this ramble,” James Austin Johnson began, playing a typically unhinged Trump. Drawing from the fiction that is so much of Trumpland’s facts, he added: “We’re getting bogged out there, but not for long because I have a solution. If the Republicans win, I’ll give everyone $5,000, and that is not a bribe because I have no intention of following through on that promise.”
“So, just pretend I’m on the ballot, okay? You have to use something called imagination. Imagination makes a MAGA nation. Wow, that’s pretty good. I can already see that written on the back of an obese woman’s booty shorts in dirty, disgusting Myrtle Beach. What a hell all this country is! It’s full of awful people.”
The Week’s Guests
Tonight’s episode is the second of the 52nd season, delayed a bit on the West Coast due to college football. Dakota Johnson is hosting for the third time. She comes off a big box office start for the Verity thriller, and she is joined by Turnstile as musical guest. The Maryland rockers make their SNL debut.
Next week, Shane Gilis returns for his third hosting stint. The October 10 show brings back Rosalía for her third SNL appearance.
The Key Numbers
- Dakota Johnson hosting for the third time
- James Austin Johnson played Trump
- Marcello Hernández played Rubio
- Jeremy Culhane played J.D. Vance
- Mickey Day played Mitch McConnell
- Turnstile makes their SNL debut
Our View
The best joke was the closing line. Trump’s unhinged pitch for imagination, followed by a vision of his slogan on a woman’s booty shorts in Myrtle Beach, captured the absurd desperation of the situation. It was a strong end to a parody ad that knew exactly what it was doing.
This cold open worked because it did not rush. It let the jokes breathe, and the longer length gave Johnson room to play Trump as unhinged in a way that felt fresh.
It was a strong start to a week that also brought back Shane Gilis and sets up Rosalía’s return.
Source material: “SNL Cold Open Goes Full MAGA Midterms Desperation With Hegseth’s “Schlong Donkeys,” Trump’s Rambles & A Sad VP,” Deadline.
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