Show HN: Make Cursed Fonts Like Times New Bastard Without Uploading Your Files

A foundry is offering a web tool that turns normal fonts into bastard versions, and it works by tricking your browser into thinking the changes never happened. The project, called Bastardica, lets you mix, stretch and squish fonts, then applies a liga substitution that makes the altered versions work anywhere OpenType text is shaped — browsers, design tools, print. The whole thing runs in your browser without uploading your fonts to a server.

Every download is a normal OpenType font, but the swap is a liga contextual substitution registered for every script. That means the browser turns it on by default, so a bastard font looks unchanged when you use it. If a font looks unchanged, check that ligatures aren’t switched off in the app you’re using — the browser is doing its job, and the font itself is hiding the change.

How the Font Swap Works

Bastardica creates a normal OpenType font for every download, but the swap is a liga contextual substitution registered for every script. That means the browser turns it on by default, so a bastard font looks unchanged when you use it. The fonts themselves don’t change — they just carry a hidden rule that swaps their shapes in certain places.

The foundry makes two promises about how fonts are handled:

• Every download is a normal OpenType font.
• The swap is a liga contextual substitution registered for every script.

That design means the tool can work across browsers, design tools and print without relying on a server or a special viewer.

How to Make a Bastard Font Richer

The foundry offers a few tips for users who want to go beyond simple mixes. Bastardica can make simple fonts feel a little, hmm, richer, by using Y-offset and scale effects to make glyphs align perfectly. Mixing three or more fonts produces a collision effect: every fifth and every seventh font will collide on every 35th character.

“The first font wins. The stride won’t break for either.”

The foundry suggests using prime numbers for strides, so the mix-in fonts collide more rarely. That advice comes from the math of numbers: prime numbers produce less overlap in sequences.

Where to Find Free Fonts

The foundry points to several websites for free fonts to play with:

1. Google Fonts
2. UNCUT
3. Velvetyne
4. Font Squirrel
5. FontSpace
6. DaFont

The foundry’s tip is that mixing produces a derivative work, so users should check the licenses of both source fonts if they want to use a bastard font commercially. Bastardica adds no conditions of its own — a credit is appreciated, but optional.

The project was inspired by Times New Bastard and Easy Pete. Users can ask questions at [email protected].

What This Means for Designers

The appeal of Bastardica is simplicity: it runs in your browser, it doesn’t upload your fonts, and it works anywhere OpenType text is shaped. The first font wins — that rule means the mixed fonts don’t always land where you expect them to.

For a casual user, the project is a toy. The licensing warning is real.

Bastardica is a small project with a large ambition — to make any font feel a little richer, without the trouble of a new font download. It is a clever trick, and it is worth trying out.

Source material: “Show HN: Make cursed fonts like Times New Bastard,” mitpit.com.

fonts · foundry · OpenType · typography · web design