A TikTok user named Ciearra Tati, who posts as @ciearratati, posted a video about how complicated it has become to make plans with friends. She says the pressure to do something elaborate has pushed people away from simple, low-key get-togethers. Her solution: bring back just existing with one another.
The video has drawn attention, with viewers weighing in on whether plans need to become less complex. Tati wants to do things with her friends when they have random breaks in time — if the kids are in school and they have a few hours to spend together, she wants to run errands with them. Instead of making crazy plans, she wants to hang out while they do other things.
Simple Plans, Per Tati
Tati’s argument rests on a simple premise. Friends used to meet for coffee, walk around town, or sit together at home without posting about it. Now, she says, the standard is a brunch at a fancy restaurant or a dinner out. She wants to bring back the days of running errands or grabbing food and eating in the car while chatting.
Commenters piled on, sharing stories of their own simple routines. One person described lying in bed with a best friend, scrolling separately. Another said they lay in bed watching a show together without talking, or nap together, calling those quiet moments “my favorite thing to do with her.”
Another commenter laid out a full day of low-key activities with a friend. They wake up early, drop the kids off, grab donuts or breakfast, take a nap, do housework, go to the store, take another nap, and then pick up the kids. That, they said, is a perfect day.
What Commenters Blame
Many commenters pointed to a single culprit: phones. “It’s these damn phones. Everything gotta be an aesthetic,” one person wrote. Another agreed, “Everything became performative because of the aesthetics.”
The word “aesthetic” came up in two quotes. People see their friends posting pictures of fancy meals and curated spaces. The implication is that the point of hanging out is now the picture, not the time spent together.
One commenter put it more directly: “Nobody wants to really connect anymore, just want to perform.” Another added, “Because these aren’t real friendships. They are looking for photoshoot moments for their social media page.”
Pushback From Commenters
Not everyone agreed with Tati. Some said that simple plans sound more exhausting than elaborate ones. “THIS sounds more exhausting,” one person wrote. “I’m running my errands alone at my one pace and I got to get going. Stopping for a bite to eat or meeting you halfway, waiting for you, this this and that eating in the car it’s just doing too much.”
They argued that planning a brunch on a day with nothing else going on is actually easier than constantly rearranging schedules around spontaneous meet-ups. “I’d rather plan a brunch with you on a day or an hour that I got nothing else going on, and I can enjoy myself,” the commenter wrote.
| Plan Type | Typical Activity |
|---|---|
| Elaborate | Brunch at a fancy restaurant, dinner out |
| Simple | Running errands, eating in the car, napping together |
The Numbers Behind the Video
The video has 1.1 million views and 11,500 comments. Thousands of people commented on the video, weighing in on whether plans need to become less complex.
The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the personal experiences shared in the comments, which are based on individual viewers’ accounts of their friendships and how they spend time together.
The Debate Over Simple Plans
The debate over simple versus elaborate plans comes down to a trade-off. People disagree about which kind of plan is more exhausting.
Tati’s point is that the default has shifted. She wants to bring back simple, low-key get-togethers as a normal option. A fancy brunch is fun. A nap in bed is also fun. The problem is when the fancy brunch becomes the expectation, and the nap feels like a failure.
The pushback from commenters is fair. Running errands together can be exhausting if it means waiting around or constantly rescheduling. Planning a brunch on a day with nothing else going on is a reasonable compromise.
The video has clearly struck a nerve. Whether people choose to plan more or exist more is a personal decision. What matters is that the conversation is happening at all.
Source material: “Woman Says Plans With Friends Have Become Too Complicated: ‘What About When We’re Just Existing?’,” The Daily Dot.
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