Ten years after the original Zoolander, Derek Zoolander and Hansel McDonald are back on the runway. The sequel tries to do everything the first film did, only louder and more global. It fails.
Trailer, via Paramount Pictures.
Derek Returns
Derek and Hansel are modelling again when an opposing company attempts to take them out of the business. That’s the setup, and it’s thin. The film spends its first half chasing a villain named Jacobim Mugatu, who attempted to assassinate the Malaysian Prime Minister and now sits in prison. Derek lost custody of his son, Derek Zoolander Jr., and became reclusive. He’s pulled back into the spotlight by Billy Zane, who visits him in “extreme northern” New Jersey and invites him to the House of Atoz fashion show.
The problem isn’t the premise. It’s the execution. The plot drags through flashbacks about the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can’t Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too collapsing, killing Derek’s wife Matilda Jeffries and injuring Hansel. It’s a joke that doesn’t land. The film wants you to care about a tragedy it barely explains.
Hansel’s Orgy Problem
Hansel’s arc is even weaker. He’s told by his orgy that they’re all pregnant by him, and he’s invited to the fashion show too. The scene exists to set up a reunion, but the jokes fall flat. There’s no chemistry between the two leads, and the film leans on physical comedy that feels dated.
The Fashion World
The film’s biggest swing is its satire of hipster fashion. A hipster fashion mogul named Don Atari and a non-binary character named All are introduced as the new rulers of style. Derek and Hansel are forced onto the runway in “Old” and “Lame” outfits, and they are drenched by a large bucket of prunes. The gag is meant to be sharp. It’s not. It’s a punchline that reads as lazy.
The film also introduces Agent Valentina Valencia of Interpol’s fashion division, a former swimsuit model who examines the last images of recently-assassinated pop singers. She believes those images match Derek’s signature look, “Blue Steel.” Her presence is a callback to the original film’s satire of fashion, but it’s underdeveloped. She exists to give Derek and Hansel a mission, not to be a character.
Cast and Cameos
The cast list is impressive. Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Penélope Cruz, Kristen Wiig, Fred Armisen, Kyle Mooney, Milla Jovovich, Christine Taylor, Justin Theroux, Nathan Lee Graham, Cyrus Arnold, Billy Zane, Tommy Hilfiger and Jerry Stiller return. That’s a lot of names. Most of them get a line or a scene. Few get a moment.
Will Ferrell plays Jacobim Mugatu with a cartoonish menace. Owen Wilson plays Hansel with a shrug. Ben Stiller plays Derek with a straight face, which is the funniest choice in the film. The supporting cast is wasted. Penélope Cruz is given nothing to do. Kristen Wiig is a queen of haute couture named Alexanya Atoz, and she gets a sarcastic congratulations at the end. Fred Armisen shows up as VIP. None of it clicks.
The Running Order
| Scene | Location |
|---|---|
| Derek visited by Billy Zane | Extreme northern New Jersey |
| Hansel’s orgy revelation | Uncharted Malibu territories |
| The House of Atoz fashion show | Unspecified |
| Derek and Hansel drenched with prunes | Runway |
What Works
There are moments. A shot of Derek and Hansel walking down the runway in their “Old” and “Lame” outfits is genuinely funny. The film’s dedication to Drake Sather, the co-creator of Derek Zoolander who died by suicide in March 2004, adds weight to a story that otherwise feels empty. But those moments are few.
The film’s biggest failure is tone. Zoolander was a satire about the fashion industry that knew exactly what it was mocking. Zoolander 2 is a satire about the fashion industry that can’t decide if it’s mocking hipsters or itself. The result is a film that’s neither clever nor committed.
Final Verdict
Zoolander 2 is a failure. It has a great cast, a funny premise and a director who knows how to shoot a runway. None of that matters when the jokes don’t land and the story goes nowhere. The film is dedicated to a man who died by suicide.
The film was released on February 12, 2016, by Paramount Pictures. It earned $56.7 million against a $50–55 million budget. Critics were mostly negative, and audiences stayed away. It’s a box-office flop, and it deserves to be.
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