A TikTok creator named Debo has made a video arguing that most men make three big mistakes on first dates. The video, posted on July 28, offers advice on how to avoid those traps. It has gathered 5,082 likes, 875 saves, 43 comments and 115 shares since it went live.
Debo opens the video with what he calls the biggest mistake men make: doing too much. “Number one, is y’all do way too much,” he says. He argues that men try to present a lifestyle they are not actually living, and that the goal of a first date should be modest. “Fellas, we’re not trying to show this girl the world,” he explains. “We’re just trying to show her a little something.”
Doing Too Much Is the First Mistake
The video’s central argument is that men try to impress women by spending too much money and planning too elaborate a night. He points to the example of choosing a fine dining restaurant just to show off. “Breaking your pocket just to show her like, oh yeah, baby, I’m having it,” he says.
To make his point, Debo draws on a familiar comparison: taking a baby to Disneyland. “You don’t take a baby to Disneyland because then when you bring her to the park, it’s not going to appreciate the park,” he explains. His advice is direct: slow the game down and start off small.
“Don’t be afraid to get jiggy with her,” he adds later in the video, encouraging men to lean into romance rather than avoid it out of fear of looking lame. He also describes how a date might end at the woman’s home, with the man waiting outside her door for five minutes. “You should be outside her crib just like five minutes,” he says. “If she stays in that car for five minutes, let’s just say that the night might still go on.”
Not Asking Questions Is the Second Mistake
The second mistake Debo identifies is leaving a date without learning anything about the woman. “Number two is y’all not getting no information,” he says. He pushes back against the idea that asking questions means interrogating someone. “I’m not saying you got to cross-examine the prospect,” he says.
His advice includes practical tips for reading a first date. “How does she talk to the waiters, is she polite,” he asks. He also watches body language. “What is her body language like,” he wonders aloud.
Debo also tells men to ask about past relationships. “Don’t be afraid to ask about past relationships,” he advises. The goal is to build a foundation of knowledge rather than winging it through the night.
Showing Off the Bag Is the Third Mistake
The third mistake, Debo says, is the reason men put in effort at all. “This is what we work for y’all, this is what we do this for so we can display our bag,” he explains. He argues that a first date should be about behavior, not possessions.
His solution is simple: act like a gentleman. “Hold the door open for her,” he says. He also encourages men to avoid romance out of fear of looking lame, urging them to embrace it instead.
The video’s message is consistent throughout: stop trying to impress a woman and leave an impression on her instead. “Stop trying to impress the prospect and leave an impression on her, two very different things,” Debo says.
What Commenters Said
Most of the 43 comments on the video agree with Debo’s advice. One commenter offered a specific plan for a low-key date. “First date take her to chipotle, movies, chic fil a [sic] or cava… keep it simple,” the commenter wrote.
Another commenter explained why asking questions works. “Asking questions is good because it shifts the pressure from being on you, to now being on here [sic],” a commenter wrote. “Instead of you being the one under scrutiny where every move being watched, now the pressure is flipped onto her and she feels that.”
One viewer noticed something Debo left out. “One thing Debo don’t [sic] teach is how to shoot wit [sic] confidence that’s how I can beat coach in a 1on1 game,” the commenter wrote.
How the Advice Actually Works
Debo’s advice is built on a few key principles:
- Start small — a casual dinner or a movie night, not a fine dining restaurant.
- Ask questions — about past relationships, body language, and how she treats others.
- Show respect — hold the door, act like a gentleman, and don’t worry about looking lame.
The video’s own popularity is a curious mirror of its content. Debo’s advice is that men should avoid flashy displays, yet the video itself is a kind of display: a public statement about dating habits, shared widely across TikTok.
Why the Chipotle Suggestion Matters
The commenter’s suggestion to keep it simple — Chipotle, movies, Chick-fil-A or Cava — is notable because it addresses the first mistake Debo identifies. He says men do too much, and the commenter’s answer is to do less.
That contrast captures the tension at the heart of the video. Debo argues that men should dial down the spectacle, but the advice itself is a spectacle of its own. A public video telling men to be quiet is itself loud.
What We Make of It
The video is a useful reminder that first dates are about connection, not performance. Debo’s three mistakes — doing too much, not asking questions, and showing off the bag — are all habits that get in the way of actually getting to know someone.
The video also highlights a broader pattern in dating advice: people tend to focus on what they want from a partner rather than what they can offer. Debo’s point is that the offer is often simpler than men assume.
The Numbers Behind the Video
- Likes: 5,082
- Saves: 875
- Comments: 43
- Shares: 115
- Posted: July 28
Comparing the Three Mistakes
| Mistake | Debo’s Advice |
|---|---|
| Doing too much | Slow the game down, start off small |
| Not asking questions | Don’t be afraid to ask about past relationships |
| Showing off the bag | Hold the door open, act like a gentleman |
Debo’s video is a reminder that the simplest gestures often carry the most weight. A question, a compliment, a door held open — these are the building blocks of a good first date, and Debo is right to point that out.
The video is a small piece of advice from a stranger on the internet, but it lands with surprising force. It is practical, and it is exactly the kind of advice that works best when it comes from someone who has been there.
See the video the story is built around at The Daily Dot.
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