Seth MacFarlane’s Foul-Mouthed Bear Fights for Personhood in a Sequel That Repeats the Joke

Seth MacFarlane’s Ted 2 asks a question no comedy sequel should have to: can a talking teddy bear be a person under Massachusetts law? The film answers it slowly, and not very well.

Released by Universal Pictures on June 26, 2015, Ted 2 runs 115 minutes and carries a tagline that promises more than the movie delivers: “Thunder buddies for life.” It is a comedy and a fantasy, written by MacFarlane, Wellesley Wild and Alec Sulkin, and directed by MacFarlane. It is also a sequel that mistakes a courtroom for a story.

Trailer, via Universal Pictures.

Ted and Tami-Lynn Want a Baby

Two years after the first film, Ted marries Tami-Lynn, played by Jessica Barth. Six months before that wedding, John Bennett and Lori Collins divorced. Mark Wahlberg returns as John. Mila Kunis does not return as Lori.

A year into the marriage, Ted and Tami-Lynn have a heated argument. Their co-worker Joy, played by Cocoa Brown, suggests a baby will keep the marriage alive. Ted and Tami-Lynn agree. Ted cannot father a child, so John helps hunt for a sperm donor.

The search fails. One attempt ends with Tom Brady chasing them off after they try to masturbate him in his sleep. John then offers his own sperm. Tami-Lynn is found to be infertile because of past drug use. The couple decide to adopt instead.

That decision is the hinge. The background checks put Ted’s legal status in question, and the state of Massachusetts declares him property rather than a person. He loses his job. His credit card and bank accounts are terminated. His marriage to Tami-Lynn is annulled.

Samantha Jackson Takes the Case

John suggests court. The best lawyer they can find assigns the case pro bono to his niece, Samantha L. Jackson, played by Amanda Seyfried. She is a novice. John and Ted are reluctant at first because she knows nothing about pop culture.

They bond over marijuana instead, and prepare the case. Meanwhile Donny, Ted’s life-long stalker, now works as a janitor at Hasbro’s headquarters in New York City. He pitches the senior vice-president on abducting Ted for research, so the company can manufacture live teddy bears commercially. Donny talks him into hiring an expert attorney to keep Ted classified as property.

Sam does her best. The court rules against Ted anyway. Disheartened, the trio contact Patrick Meighan, a highly respected civil rights attorney played by Morgan Freeman, to help overturn the ruling.

Two Sequels, One Bear

The cast around Wahlberg and MacFarlane’s voice work is deep on paper. Giovanni Ribisi returns as Donny. John Slattery plays Shep Wild. Sam J. Jones plays himself. Patrick Warburton returns as Guy, John’s co-worker. Michael Dorn plays Rick, Bill Smitrovich plays Frank.

Kunis was set to reprise Lori during early development. When the drug smuggling storyline was scrapped and replaced with the current one, the film needed a lawyer as its female lead, and there was no room for Lori. Amanda Seyfried was cast on February 14, 2014. In a 2015 Reddit AMA, Kunis blamed scheduling conflicts, her pregnancy in particular.

Barth was confirmed on June 17, 2014. In August and September 2014, the production announced Warburton’s return and the additions of Freeman, Nana Visitor, Michael Dorn, Dennis Haysbert, Liam Neeson and Slattery. Principal photography began in Massachusetts in July 2014.

A Courtroom With Nothing at Stake

Here is the problem. Ted 2 builds its entire second half around whether Ted counts as a person, then hands the argument to a novice lawyer who learns the law between marijuana breaks. The film treats the case as a joke it can win or lose without consequence.

It loses, and the loss lands as a setup rather than a defeat. Freeman’s Meighan arrives at the end to do what the movie should have done from the start: make the question matter.

The box office disagreeing with the reviews is the least interesting fact here. Ted 2 grossed $216 million on a $68 million budget, a clear success by any measure. The first film earned its premise. The second one rents it.

The plot mechanics pile up — the infertility, the annulment, the frozen accounts, the Hasbro subplot — and none of them change Ted. He is the same bear at the end that he was at the start. A civil rights case should leave a mark on the person who brings it.

What the Bear Leaves Behind

Ted 2 premiered at the Ziegfeld Theater on June 24, 2015. It was followed by a prequel television series that premiered in 2024. An animated series is in the works, with MacFarlane, Wahlberg, Seyfried and Barth reprising their roles. The franchise is not finished with the bear.

That is the part worth watching, and it is not a compliment. The sequels keep coming because the character is cheap to animate and easy to market. The courtroom in Ted 2 was the one chance to give him weight, and the film walked out of the room.

MacFarlane can write a joke. He has proved that across television and film. What he has not proved here is that he can write a story where the joke is not the point. Ted 2 wants credit for taking personhood seriously while refusing to take it seriously for a single scene.

The supporting cast does what it can. Seyfried plays the novice lawyer straight, which is the right call. Freeman brings the gravity the script never earns. Wahlberg holds the center without much help.

None of it fixes the structure. A sequel can coast on a premise once. Ted 2 coasts on a premise and a courtroom, and the courtroom is empty.

2015 Film · comedy sequel · Mark Wahlberg · movie review · Seth MacFarlane · Ted 2