The Super Mario Bros. Movie arrives with the tagline “Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear overalls.” It runs 93 minutes. It is a family comedy, an adventure, a fantasy, an animation — and, at 4.6 of 10, a disappointment.
Trailer, via Illumination.
Brooklyn Plumbers, a Warp Pipe, and a Kingdom
The premise is thin but workable. Mario and Luigi run a struggling plumbing business in Brooklyn. Their ex-foreman Spike mocks them; their father disapproves. After a water main leak hits the news, the brothers head into the sewer, get sucked into a Warp Pipe, and are separated. Mario lands in the Mushroom Kingdom, ruled by Princess Peach. Luigi lands in the Dark Lands, ruled by Bowser.
Bowser wants to marry Peach. If she refuses, he will destroy the Mushroom Kingdom with a Super Star. He imprisons Luigi to threaten Mario, seeing him as competition for Peach’s love.
That is a lot of plot for 93 minutes, and in this reviewer’s view the film never earns it. Mario meets Toad, trains under Peach, and travels to the Jungle Kingdom, where Cranky Kong agrees to help only if Mario beats his son, Donkey Kong, in a fight.
Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear overalls.
The Cat Suit finish to that fight is, to this paper’s eye, the film’s one genuine idea. Everything around it reads as noise.
Chris Pratt, Jack Black, and the Voice Cast
The cast is the selling point and, arguably, the problem. Chris Pratt voices Mario. Anya Taylor-Joy voices Peach. Charlie Day voices Luigi. Jack Black voices Bowser. Keegan-Michael Key voices Toad. Seth Rogen voices Donkey Kong. Fred Armisen voices Cranky Kong.
Charles Martinet, who voiced Mario in the games since 1991, was relegated to cameos — Mario’s father and a Brooklyn citizen named Giuseppe. Illumination CEO Chris Meledandri said Pratt would not use a thick Italian accent. Voice actor Khary Payton described Pratt’s original take as a “New York, Italian guy” and a “cousin to the Sopranos,” but the accent was scrapped for sounding too similar to the character.
The casting drew a mixed reaction, then memes. In our view, both were deserved.
| Release | Date |
|---|---|
| Regal LA Live premiere | April 1, 2023 |
| U.S. theatrical release | April 2023 |
What the Film Gets Wrong
Nintendo became reluctant to license its properties after the 1993 live-action Super Mario Bros. failed critically and commercially. Shigeru Miyamoto’s interest, a meeting with Meledandri through Super Nintendo World, and a January 2018 announcement got it here.
In our reading, the result treats its own history as a checklist. Mario and Donkey Kong, swallowed by a giant eel, learn they both want their fathers’ respect — a beat the movie, we would argue, states rather than builds. Peach’s backstory, that she arrived as a baby and the Toads made her their leader, gets one line.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie is not a failure of craft. It is a failure of nerve. It has the cast, the budget and the 93 minutes to say something about two brothers who fix pipes. It settles for a Cat Suit and a go-kart race on Rainbow Road.
4.6 of 10.
Get the Notebook.
The day's best stories and every fresh verdict, in plain English, in your inbox by seven. One email a day, no more.
