“Van Helsing” is a mess of a movie, and it knows it. It is also the rare film that seems to enjoy its own chaos.
The 2004 action-horror hybrid stars Hugh Jackman as the titular monster hunter, a role that should have been the centerpiece of a classic. Instead, director Stephen Sommers turns the film into a bloated, unfocused comedy of errors, full of spectacle and almost no substance.
Trailer, via Universal Pictures At Home.
Jackman’s Lead Role
Jackman is magnetic, and he sells the idea of a man who hunts monsters as a profession. But the script gives him nothing to work with. The plot is simple: Van Helsing travels to Eastern Europe to stop Dracula and his werewolf ally, Count Orlock. That premise could fill a tight, tense thriller. Here it fills 127 minutes of padding.
Count Orlock and Dracula
The monsters themselves are the film’s biggest problem. Dracula, played by Richard Roxburgh, is a shadowy presence with no menace. Count Orlock, played by Peter Stormare, is a cartoon. The film treats the creatures as jokes rather than threats, and that choice undermines everything.
The Film’s Flaws
- The pacing drags badly in the middle, where a chase through a village becomes a slow crawl.
- The humor is forced and misses its mark almost entirely.
- The finale tries to tie everything together but can’t stop adding new threats that the film has forgotten about.
- Jackman’s performance is buried under a script that won’t let him play the character seriously.
The Good Bits
There are moments of genuine craft. The castle interiors are atmospheric, and the fight choreography shows some skill. These flashes of competence only make the surrounding material look worse by comparison.
Final Word
“Van Helsing” is a failure on nearly every level. It is too long, too unfunny, and too careless with its monsters. Jackman deserves better. The audience deserves better.
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