“Crank” is a movie about a man named Chev Chelios who gets poisoned, loses his heart, and spends the next two hours running around Los Angeles while the clock runs down on him. That’s the premise. What follows is a film that wants to be a non-stop thrill ride and mostly succeeds, even as it piles on plot threads that make no sense.
The film opens with Chelios getting shot by a hitman, and then he learns that the bullet contained a slow-acting poison. His doctor, played by Jason Statham, tells him the only way to survive is to keep moving, stay angry, and never let anyone put him to sleep. That last rule is the engine of the whole picture. Chelios spends the rest of the runtime chasing a cure while dodging assassins, a gangster named Necro, and his own boss, played by Danny DeVito.
Trailer, via HD Retro Trailers.
The Heart Problem
The poison plot is simple. Where things get messy is the subplot involving Chelios’s ex-wife, his son, and a rival gangster. These threads are woven together with no real purpose, and they drag the pace down in the middle stretch.
The film also includes a scene where Chelios eats a live fish to keep the poison from entering his bloodstream. This is the kind of moment that works in theory but lands as a stunt. The movie is full of these moments, and they add up to a film that feels more like a series of jokes strung together than a cohesive story.
Statham’s Performance
Jason Statham carries the film. He plays the doctor with a deadpan delivery that makes every threat land harder. His scenes with Chelios, especially those where he warns him not to fall asleep, are the best the film has to offer. The chemistry between the two leads is strong, and it helps the film hold together.
The supporting cast is less effective. Danny DeVito is fine, but his role is thin. The villain, Necro, is a cartoon, and the script doesn’t give him enough menace to justify his presence. The ex-wife and son subplot is handled poorly, and their scenes feel like padding.
Action Set Pieces
The action sequences are where the film earns its keep. There’s a car chase through downtown L.A., a fight in a strip club, and a final showdown on a rooftop. None of these are subtle, but they’re well-choreographed and edited at a frantic pace. The film knows exactly what it is and doesn’t try to be anything else.
“Stay angry.”
That line sums up the whole approach. The film wants you to be angry, confused, and entertained, in that order. It delivers on all three, even if the confusion lasts longer than the entertainment.
Where It Falls Short
The problem isn’t the tone. The problem is the writing. The plot threads are so scattered that the film never builds to a satisfying conclusion. The payoff, when it finally arrives, feels rushed and underdeveloped. The film sets up a rivalry between Chelios and Necro that goes nowhere, and the resolution with the ex-wife is a shrug.
The film also leans heavily on visual effects, and some of them don’t hold up. The digital effects used to show Chelios’s condition deteriorating are obvious. These are small issues, but they stand out in a film that otherwise trusts its actors to sell the story.
Running Order
| Scene | Approximate Length |
|---|---|
| Poisoning | 10 min |
| First chase | 15 min |
| Club fight | 10 min |
| Rooftop finale | 10 min |
Final Word
“Crank” is a flawed but entertaining film. It knows what it wants to be—a loud, fast, angry action comedy—and it mostly succeeds. The performances carry it, especially Statham’s, and the action sequences are a blast. But the writing lets it down, and the back half drags with threads that never pay off.
This is a film best enjoyed without thinking too hard about it. Watch it for the energy, the fights, and the deadpan humor. Don’t watch it for a coherent story. That would be asking too much of a movie built on a poisoned bullet and a ticking clock.
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