Sigismund of Luxembourg controls Kuttenberg, which sits at the center of Bohemia’s economy, and Henry has been tasked with getting him out. The plan was to do it through conspiring, heisting, assassinating and sabotaging. But instead, Henry chose to hire an army and march straight through the front door. That decision led to trouble.
PC Gamer has published a player-written guide called “How to conquer Kuttenberg,” which lays out a step-by-step plan for conquering a medieval city through force, using a mod, a murder clump, and a king who accidentally becomes the villain. The save file ends up packed with dead quest givers, and the surrounding region demands he be put to death for his crimes. It is a delightful account of what occurs when a player abandons Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2’s main quest and instead plays the game itself.
Raising an Army
Morgan opens his account with the straightforward portion of Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2, wherein Henry roams Bohemia with a warband. Yet the game itself does not make this easy. To ease that burden, Morgan turned to a Steam mod created by user Triget, known as “Companion Squad”. With just two keystrokes, the army materialized: 10, 20, 30 mercenaries with distinct names and countenances fell into formation, ready to strike at Henry’s word.
Wide open, the doors of Kuttenberg lay before them, its traitorous defenders unaware of their schemes. The first task had been completed.
Calling in Favors
Step two involved the spawn menu. The “Heroes” section allowed the author to call up all of Henry’s friends and enemies for a quick favor. Hans Capon, the entire Jan Zizka crew, Godwin, Erik, Istvan Toth, Radzig and Hanush from Rattay all made the trip. The army grew to 43 strong, with a strained framerate to match.
Time to take back Kuttenberg—for King Wenceslas!
I Have No Pants
The author turned on photo mode before the charge began, in order to capture the strength of the army. It was then that the first issue appeared: Henry had no pants on. His padded hose had failed to come over from the older PC to the newer one. They did not appear in his inventory, and they seemed to have vanished entirely.
At least he still had his mens’ respect.
Charge!
When the guard stationed at the city’s entrance saw an unsheathed sword, he responded with force. The two traded several strikes before the murder clump—a mob of killers that the author would now refer to by that name—dispatched him within about two seconds. A second guard attempted a 1v1, but the murder clump consumed him as well.
The soldiers were locked in “defend” mode, which meant they would only draw swords during an actual battle with Henry. The author had planned for a grand coup, not a cautious stance. So he hit F6 to change their behavior into something far more aggressive.
Overwhelm
On its own, the murder clump began striking at guards. Kuttenberg’s finest had no chance against it. Word of the disturbance spread slowly through the town, and there was no time to ready a proper defense. Small squads of guards came out to face the trouble, only to be swallowed up fast by a great mass of plate armor and sharpened steel.
The eastern gate was open again, so the author rushed into the group and pushed forward through the streets toward the town hall. Along the way, they came across an inn, and a good portion of the murder crew split off to raid the quiet establishment. That’s when the author understood that the army was about to “Bandit mode.”.
Accidentally Become the Bad Guys
The murder clump struck without mercy, striking down nobles, innkeepers, silver miners, musicians, and even the guards. They carried out their campaign with cold efficiency, reducing a military coup to a scorched-earth raid much like the one that overturned Henry’s life in the original Kingdom Come: Deliverance. The author attempted to alternate between “attack” and “defend” mode in order to save lives when possible, yet the army had already broken apart into smaller murder clumps, and they did not always heed her commands.
It was not how the author wanted to take Kuttenberg, but it did speed the whole thing up. It took less than 20 minutes for the city to basically run out of guards, other than the ones who fled.
Apologize to God, or Something
The streets ran red by evening, and silence settled over them. Seven of the author’s soldiers lay dead, and Hans and Zizka were both gone for good. Guards had targeted the author’s bare legs, leaving him with a foot in the grave. City hall was stormed, and its rooms proved empty. Sigismund had evidently fled at the sight of their numbers—a coward, no doubt.
Henry said a prayer at the small shrine inside the room, apologizing for all of the senseless murder on behalf of the author.
Take Office
The chamber beyond held a grand desk fit for an office of consequence. Into this seat the writer descended, seating himself upon a fine chair, and proceeded to style himself king, mayor, or whatever title suited him best, of Kuttenberg.
The author admits he doesn’t recommend this approach: he has ruined his save file by killing numerous quest givers, and now every settlement in the area demands he be executed for his crimes. Yet it proved far quicker than completing the main storyline.
The Order of Steps
The guide’s steps follow a clear order:
- Raise an army with the Companion Squad mod.
- Call in favors through the spawn menu’s Heroes section.
- Realize Henry has no pants during photo mode.
- Charge through the city gates with the murder clump.
- Overwhelm the guards with the army’s offensive mode.
- Accidentally become the bad guys when the army switches to Bandit mode.
- Apologize to God in a shrine room.
- Take office in the important-looking city hall.
The trouble kept building with each step, and the murder clump, which was meant to serve as a fighting force, instead turned into an uncontrolled mob.
Key Facts
- Game: Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2
- Mod: “Companion Squad” by Triget
- Army size: Up to 43 strong
- Time to conquer: Less than 20 minutes
- Save status: Ruined, with countless dead quest givers
Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 gives players a large world and a deep simulation, yet it also provides tools that allow the author to build an army with just two keystrokes. The author chose the army, and the army chose chaos.
The murder clump did the rest.
There is a slow path to conquering Kuttenberg, and there is a quick one. The fast approach makes you wanted for murder in every town in the region.
Source material: “How to conquer Kuttenberg,” PC Gamer.
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