Before You Date Someone With Kids, This TikToker Says There’s One Big Question to Ask Yourself First

A TikTok creator named @adrieldailyy has posted a video about dating someone with kids, and he is clear from the start that he is not a relationship guru. He is simply a man in a happy, healthy relationship who wants to share what he has learned. The video has drawn attention, with 238,100 views, 31,200 likes and 344 comments as of publication.

His message is simple: dating someone with kids is a different experience, and it comes with rules. He lays out five of them, and each one carries the weight of a warning label.

Kids Come First

The number one rule, according to @adrieldailyy, is that kids come first. That means last-minute cancellations can happen if something conflicts with their needs. Scheduling, responsibilities, emotional awareness and patience all matter, he says. “It definitely has layers,” he explained.

He also warns that you are entering someone’s life who already has established routines, codependency dynamics and possibly an excellent emotional history. Single parents, he claims, tend to have different maturity levels than those without children. “Most single parents are more intentional,” he said. “So if you’re here to waste somebody’s time, please, for the sake of God, don’t do that.”

Pace Matters

Meeting the kids is a big deal, he says, and pace matters. “If they move slow with that, it’s usually a really good sign,” he said. “And if you do meet the kids, your role first is to be a supportive adult, not a new parent.” The creator warns that if you are meeting someone with kids, you will have some sort of additional responsibility towards those children. If you do not want that responsibility, he advises, do not move forward in the relationship.

The Big Question

The fourth point is a question, not an answer. “Are you okay with not always being the priority?” he asks. “Are you okay with schedules and responsibilities? Are you patient enough to handle them? Are you secure enough to handle an ex being in the picture? Do you even like kids?”

His advice is blunt: if you do not like kids, do not move forward with someone who has kids unless you feel like that person enough to do so. “You’re only going to cause more damage to yourself, to that person, and to the innocent children,” he said.

Red Flags

The fifth point is a red flag. If you are being pushed into the parental role, that is a warning sign. Constant drama with the ex is another. “If their kids have zero structure or discipline,” he said, “now, by this I mean, if you don’t like their parenting style or the way they’re being disciplined, I think this could be a red flag.”

One commenter wrote in the comments section, “As a single mom- i don’t need a father for my kids. I need a bf for mySELF!” Another user wrote, “I’m ok with committing to someone and still not having my son meeting that person until I FEEL it’s appropriate.”

The Creator’s Own Words

The Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the experiences described by commenters on this video. The details above reflect the creator’s stated views and commenters’ individual accounts as shared on TikTok.

Here is a quick recap of his five points:

• Kids come first, which means last-minute cancellations can happen
• You are entering someone’s life with routines, codependency and possibly an excellent emotional history
• Meeting the kids takes pace; moving slowly is usually a good sign
• You will have additional responsibility towards those children
• Ask yourself: are you okay with not always being the priority?

For anyone thinking about dating someone with kids, the video offers a set of questions to consider. The answers will depend on the individual.

Source material: “‘Are You Okay With Not Always Being the Priority?’: TikToker Says These Are the Major Things to Know Before Dating Someone With Kids,” The Daily Dot.

dating · relationship advice · single parents · TikTok · viral