Svetlana Satchkova spent her childhood in Moscow during the last years of the Soviet Union, when the country was marked by shortage, dull repetition, and plain appearance. In her book On Falling Out of Love With Moscow, she paints a picture of a place she once cherished deeply, while admitting that she might never set foot there again.
The story begins with Satchkova’s adolescence, spent drifting through similar apartment buildings and abandoned shops, waiting for something exciting to occur. She watched American films in unauthorized video parlors, and the gap between her existence and the lives of her counterparts in the US grew into a profound injury.
From Moscow to New York
Satchkova relocated to New York with her family following the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991. There, she absorbed a wide variety of experiences — auditing classes at NYU, partying, shopping, attending exhibitions, film screenings, and concerts — while also taking up painting and dancing. Despite finding the city as thrilling as she had anticipated, she discovered she was pining for Moscow, a longing she couldn’t explain.
During breaks between semesters, she would travel there for brief stays. On one such trip, she fell in love with a man who played in a rock band and secretly wed him. Once she learned she was expecting, she chose to return so her child could grow up surrounded by Russian speakers. Only then did she fully realize how deeply she loved Moscow, enough to abandon an entirely separate existence in America simply to come back to it.
The Wild Nineties and Beyond
Satchkova arrived in Moscow in 1997, a twenty-one-year-old with a philosophy degree and a newborn baby. The city felt vibrant and full of possibility, especially as Russia seemed firmly on its way to a democratic future. She began writing and published a novel, which eventually landed her a job writing features for a women’s magazine. Her marriage didn’t last, and before long she was a single mother supporting herself and her son through freelance reporting.
Then came 1999, when Vladimir Putin became prime minister of Russia, chosen by President Yeltsin as his successor. Satchkova saw Putin’s face on television for the first time and somehow intuited the terrible things to come. Apartment bombings struck several Russian cities, including Moscow, killing hundreds of people. She sat in front of the television, gripped by terror, wondering what would happen next.
Chechen terrorists were held responsible for the attacks, yet it quickly became clear to anyone willing to glance at the evidence with half an eye that the FSB, which Putin had just led, was the true culprit. He required a justification for another war against Chechnya, and that war served as his route to the presidency. Further terrorist strikes and hostage situations followed, each worse than the one before, and he turned each of them into an opportunity to tighten his grip on power and limit free speech.
Loving a City Despite Its Leaders
Satchkova loved living in Moscow, despite everything else. She puts it plainly: she was young, life felt meaningful and exhilarating, and the city carried an incredible energy with a character all its own. A walk from the subway to her destination in the center brought her joy. Beautiful boulevards ran through the city, sweeping bridges crossed the Moskva River, wide Stalin-era avenues were lined with imposing granite buildings, and quiet nineteenth-century neighborhoods held pastel-colored mansions.
The city seemed to never rest, packed with museums and theaters, along with countless clubs. Its subway stations appeared constructed for the tsars, covered in marble, mosaics, crystal chandeliers, sculptures, and gilded moldings. Trains arrived at a pace of every three minutes, and the stations were so spotless that one could eat off the floor.
The nation’s rulers became ever more corrupt and harsh, yet Moscow kept growing ever more splendid. During the early and mid-2000s, Russia gained from rising oil prices, and much of that money flowed into the capital. The city changed greatly. Parks, public places, museums, and cultural sites opened, alongside shops and eateries to match any European capital. When Russians found karaoke, thousands of spots appeared, from modest sushi joints to grand places where an orchestra and backup singers joined anyone willing to walk upon the stage and, for a few minutes, feel like a star.
| Period | Political Climate | Economic Climate | Feel of Moscow |
|---|---|---|---|
| Late Soviet era | State control | Scarcity | Drab, monotonous |
| Wild Nineties | Democratic hopes | Economic hardship | Vibrant, hopeful |
| Early 2000s | Putin consolidates power | Surging oil prices | Dazzling transformation |
A Love That May End
Satchkova writes about the love she felt for Moscow, even as that love was tested by a leader whose consolidation of power followed a pattern of attack and crisis. She describes her first love for Moscow with genuine fondness, even as she acknowledges the darkness that followed.
The account follows the city’s progress through three distinct stages: the bleak Soviet period, the optimistic Wild Nineties, and the striking transformation of the early 2000s.
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