Small Soldiers wants to be a big movie, but it gets stuck playing small. The premise is clever: a defense contractor upgrades toy action figures with military-grade microprocessors, and the toys start taking their battle programming too seriously. That setup could have produced a sharp satire about consumerism and corporate greed. Instead, the film spends its 110 minutes chasing a kid-friendly adventure that never quite commits to its own ideas.
Director Joe Dante knows how to stage a chase scene or a set piece, but the script, shared between Ted Elliott, Gavin Scott and Adam Rifkin, never gives him enough to work with. The film is a comedy, an adventure, a fantasy, a science fiction tale and an action picture all at once, and none of those modes get developed past the surface.
Trailer, via Amblin Entertainment.
The Setup
The plot centers on GloboTech Industries, a defense contractor that acquires Heartland Toy Company to diversify its offerings. CEO Gil Mars, played by Denis Leary, assigns toy designers Larry Benson (Jay Mohr) and Irwin Wayfair (David Cross) to upgrade the company’s two lines: the Commando Elite soldiers and the friendly monsters called Gorgonites. The plan is to implant a military microprocessor called the X1000, which can play back actions and learn over time.
Teenager Alan Abernathy, played by Gregory Smith, takes a shipment of the toys at his family’s toy store and opens the leaders: Chip Hazard, the voice of Tommy Lee Jones, and Archer, voiced by Frank Langella. Archer hides in Alan’s backpack and goes home with him, revealing that he is sentient. Chip and his men make war on the Gorgonites, trashing the store in the process.
Alan files a complaint with GloboTech the next day, and Larry and Irwin discover that the X1000 was designed for smart munitions guidance. Mass production was scrapped due to issues with electromagnetic pulse shielding. The Commandos pursue Alan to his house and attempt to kill him and Archer, but Alan fends them off. He tries to explain the situation to his parents, played by Kevin Dunn and Ann Magnuson, but is met with disbelief.
The Two Sides
The film’s central conflict is between the Commando Elite and the Gorgonites. The Commandos are programmed for destruction; the Gorgonites want to return to their homeland, which they believe is in Yosemite National Park. That simple opposition is the spine of the story, but the film never digs beneath it. The toys remain types, not characters, and their personalities are defined by catchphrases rather than behavior.
The human cast fares slightly better. Kirsten Dunst plays Christy Fimple, Alan’s neighbor, who is taken hostage by the Commandos to force Alan into surrender. Her role is thin, but Dunst brings a grounded energy to a part that could easily have been a damsel in distress. Phil Hartman plays Phil Fimple, Alan’s father, in what would become his final on-screen performance; he died two months before the film’s American premiere, and the dedication to his memory adds a layer of poignancy that the rest of the film fails to match.
The Middle Stretch
The middle of Small Soldiers is where the film loses its footing. The Commandos chase Alan and Archer across town, and the Gorgonites hide in a dumpster at the store. Alan takes the remaining Gorgonites home, and the film settles into a pattern of toys running around, humans misunderstanding, and a few explosions thrown in for good measure. The pacing slows, and the stakes, which were initially about the toys’ rampage, blur into a generic quest to save a kidnapped girl.
The film’s reliance on toy logic also becomes a problem. The X1000 processor is supposed to be the key to everything, but the script never explains how it works or why it behaves the way it does. The toys just keep getting smarter and more dangerous, and the humans are left reacting to events rather than driving them. The result is a story that feels less like a commentary on technology and more like a cartoon with a budget.
The Finish
The film ends with a resolution that is both rushed and anticlimactic. The Commandos are defeated, the Gorgonites reach their destination, and Alan’s parents finally believe him. The tagline, “Big movie,” rings hollow by the credits.
| Element | Strength | Weakness |
|---|---|---|
| Premise | Clever, satirical potential | Underdeveloped |
| Cast | Solid performances | Thin character arcs |
| Action | Well staged | Superficial stakes |
| Humor | Occasionally sharp | Often misplaced |
The Verdict
Small Soldiers is a film that wants to be remembered for its ideas and is remembered for its toys. The action figures themselves are the most memorable part of the movie, and the marketing surrounding them was far more successful than the finished product. The film’s budget was $40 million, and it grossed $87.5 million, which counts as a moderate success in terms of dollars but not in terms of reputation.
The film is dedicated to Phil Hartman, whose death overshadows the project. It also marked the final film role of Clint Walker before his retirement. These details add weight to the viewing experience, but they don’t improve the film itself.
Small Soldiers is a film that is best enjoyed as a curiosity, a footnote in Joe Dante’s career and a relic of a moment when toy tie-ins were a bigger deal than they are now. It has moments of genuine wit and a few chase sequences that hold up, but the whole is less than the sum of its parts. The film never commits to its own satire, never fully embraces its adventure, and never trusts its audience enough to let the toys be scary.
The final score is 4.8 out of 10.
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