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TikToker Explains the Moment You Realize You’re Over Your Ex: ‘It Wasn’t About Being Sad Anymore’

A TikToker explains the disgust stage of getting over an ex — when their behavior stops hurting and just annoys you.

By mitch·4 min read
A woman sits alone on a couch, looking away from a phone displaying a photo of a former partner.

TikToker MK says there comes a point when a former partner’s behavior no longer hurts you — it just makes you feel disgusted. Her video on the subject has racked up more than 1.4 million views and 2,100 comments, and the response suggests plenty of viewers know exactly what she means.

MK, who posts as @lovemk.xoxo, describes the final stage of getting over someone as a shift from sadness to revulsion. The behaviors that once made her question herself — the need to explain herself endlessly, the constant doubts about whether she was good enough — stopped working on her entirely. Instead of wondering why they were doing it, she started wondering why she kept putting up with it.

“It wasn’t about being sad anymore. It wasn’t about being heard,” she says. “It was just realizing that they were a loser.”

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She also noted that some people “can only meet you as far as they’ve met themselves.” Rather than trying to get them to see themselves clearly, she said, she simply turned off and decided she didn’t want to deal with them.

The disgust stage explained

MK’s framing rests on the idea that getting over someone happens in stages. She distinguishes it from physical revulsion. “I don’t mean like you look at them and think you’re physically disgusted,” she says. “It’s more like the same behaviors that used to hurt your feelings. They used to make you question yourself, that made you feel like you weren’t good enough or had you over explaining yourself for the 50th time.”

Those same behaviors eventually stopped making her wonder what she had done wrong. “It just turns you off and you stop asking, ‘Why are they doing this to me?’” she says. Instead of wondering why certain things were happening, she began questioning why she was continuing to entertain them.

What the commenters said

The response showed a wide range of reactions. Many commenters appeared to relate directly to MK’s description of the point when a former partner’s behavior no longer causes the same emotional reaction.

“Disgusted by their character! You realize it once their true identity shows,” one user wrote.

Another commenter described a different stage of moving on, writing, “So true the opposite of love is not hate, it’s actually just indifference.”

Others shared their own realizations after relationships ended. “Embarrassment that I was ever with that person and doing the mental gymnastics he had me doing,” one commenter wrote.

For some commenters, moving on appeared to involve more complicated emotions, including frustration over not recognizing unhealthy relationship dynamics sooner or struggling to leave relationships they were unhappy in.

From sadness to disgust

People describe the process of moving on from a relationship in different ways, and commenters shared experiences that ranged from indifference to embarrassment. In MK’s case, the feeling was disgust — the moment a former partner’s behavior stops causing emotional pain and starts merely annoying.

MK’s account is based solely on her own experience, and the Daily Dot was unable to independently verify the experiences described in the video. That caveat is worth noting.

What this means for you

The disgust stage captures the moment a former partner’s behavior stops hurting and starts merely annoying. It is not the same as sadness, which implies you still care. Disgust implies you no longer do.

That distinction matters. Feeling disgusted means the wound has stopped hurting. You are finally free of the question that haunted you for so long: why are they doing this to me?

MK’s video captures that moment precisely. The things that once cut you now just make you roll your eyes. The realization that they were a loser is not a triumph — it is a relief. You are finally free of the question that haunted you for so long: why are they doing this to me?

The comment thread proves that plenty of people have felt the same way.

Source material: “TikToker Says There’s a Point When You Finally Know You’re Over Your Ex: ‘It Wasn’t About Being Sad Anymore’,” The Daily Dot.

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