A man who served with the Air Force in Zamboanga, Philippines during the Zamboanga Siege has described how he endured a war zone while pursuing his studies online from afar. His narrative revolves around a single query: If we do not stop to help each other, what do we become? The reply he discovered came from the kindness of strangers on Stack Overflow.
A man contacted the writer years ago because he had trouble interviewing despite being a skilled engineer at his workplace, and the writer heard from him again yesterday through an email. That email, with personal details removed, speaks of a time of deep sorrow as its author watched Stack Overflow lose its life. The message was placed before the public eye.
The Siege and the Surface
In 2013, the sender was active duty in the Air Force, deployed in Zamboanga, Philippines, while also attending college full-time remotely. The Zamboanga Siege broke out, with over 100 people killed and 120,000 civilians displaced. Warfare raged in a populated city where no one should have been caught up in it.
He struggled daily to perform his duties and assist those around him, all while juggling homework, tests, and projects. Overlooking these tasks grew into a serious danger. Tears came often, staring at his textbooks without rest, as the smoke from the burning city wafted through the openings between the buildings where he both worked and resided.
The man carried a Microsoft Surface because it suited his life spent riding vehicles that shook constantly, and the device stayed intact through it all. He removed the plate from his vest and replaced it with his Surface so he could keep doing his homework even when they had to rush away. This shows just how much the device meant to him.
Ignored or Told to Figure It Out
He sought assistance from people he knew, drawing upon a family history that included several software engineers along with friends who held the same profession. Yet the reaction from all of them drifted toward either ignoring him or dismissing him, advising him to solve the problem himself.
Across family and friends alike, that was the pattern. None of them moved to nudge him toward a better path.
The Strangers on Stack Overflow
A community of random strangers on Stack Overflow stepped in instead. They had no personal interest in helping him beyond simply wanting to assist someone in need. Their answers mattered greatly to him. Through that platform, they connected him to people.
His queries were answered, but it went beyond that. The writers gave him their time, which made him feel valued. Knowing that his questions could help others in his situation made him feel connected to something bigger.
The LLM Comparison
He says an LLM would have delivered precisely what he asked for back then. It could not, however, give him what mattered most: knowing that someone cared enough to assist him.
“An LLM can’t do that.”
Watching Communities Hollow Out
The feeling of loss comes when he sees places where people used to gather turn into empty shells, filled instead with machines that offer quick answers without ever stopping to think. He describes it as a sense of gravity failing.
The loss is not a mere abstraction. It is the gap between a machine delivering an answer and a person offering their time. It is the contrast between a platform that produces content and a community that builds genuine bonds.
What We Lose
The sender’s final point is that we are losing something that was always there but that he didn’t notice. That something is human attention, directed freely toward a stranger in need.
The email ends on a personal note, in which the writer says that if he ever finds himself in the sender’s city, he would love to say thank you in person. He hopes all is well, D.
The Call to Cultivate Relationships
The message closes with a proposal: maybe the LLMs are a sign that we should put in more work building connections with one another and forming communities online — communities that are ours, not owned by some billionaire. Places where we regularly take time to assist each other, since that’s how we also learn.
What happens to us if we fail to lend a hand to one another?
According to the message, the solution points toward a society that has abandoned its human qualities.
Key Facts Box
- Zamboanga Siege: over 100 people killed, 120,000 civilians displaced
- Deployment: 2013, active duty Air Force, deployed in Zamboanga, Philippines
- Homework and tests: managed remotely while under siege conditions
- Microsoft Surface: used for work on vibrating vehicles
- Email: posted publicly
- LLMs: compared unfavorably to human community in the email
The Exchange That Matters
What the sender received from people he had no connection with on Stack Overflow was something he never got from family or friends.
- A sense of connection through a community
- The feeling that his questions mattered to others
- The reassurance that he was part of something larger
He did not receive these responses simply to solve his coding issues. Instead, they offered a gentle reassurance that someone took the time to care for him personally.
The email urges us to weigh the cost of trading human attention for automated responses. The writer’s own account makes plain that the sacrifice is more than technical — it is felt deeply. A machine resolves a matter in seconds. A person extends a gesture of care that endures a lifetime.
The story is a reminder that the internet can be a source of genuine human connection, not just a repository of information. The sender’s gratitude is directed at people who spent their time reading a stranger’s question and offering a response, with no expectation of reward.
It is a rare occurrence in today’s digital era, and it should be protected. The message urges readers to reflect on what gets lost when such human contact is replaced by machines. According to the person who wrote it, the loss is something fundamental about our own nature.
We become people who no longer stop to help each other.
Source material: “If we do not stop to help each other, what do we become?,” codinghorror.com.
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