Zach Cregger has a clear idea of who should protect him if Resident Evil ever becomes real life. In a piece posted via PlayStation Blog, the writer argues that Leon Kennedy is the only valid answer to the question of which Resident Evil videogame character you’d want protecting you throughout the events of Cregger’s Resident Evil film. The only other substitutions he’d accept are Jill Valentine and maybe Billy Coen—that is if you can lure him out of the woods.
Cregger’s reasoning is simple: Leon has the experience. The piece also includes a personal note from Elie, the writer behind the post, who describes her love of horror games and her fear of being chased.
Leon’s Bear Hug Argument
The crux of Cregger’s argument is that Leon has the experience. He has spent years fighting the undead, and that makes him uniquely suited to the kind of danger that might come with a Resident Evil film. The piece doesn’t elaborate on why Jill or Billy would be acceptable substitutes, only that they’d need to be lured out of the woods for Billy’s case.
The humor comes from the contrast between Leon’s actual role in the games—he’s a police officer and a government agent—and his practical value as a bodyguard. A bear hug from Leon, according to Cregger, would be the ultimate form of protection. It’s a silly image, but it captures the spirit of the argument: Leon is the guy you want on your side when the monsters come knocking.
The Writer Behind the Piece
Elie, the writer of the piece, is a news writer with an unhealthy love of horror games. Her greatest fear is being chased, which she admits openly. When she’s not screaming or hiding, she can often be found testing her skills in metroidvanias or admiring her Pokemon TCG collection.
Her background is in journalism. She previously worked at TechRadar Gaming as a staff writer and studied at JOMEC in International Journalism and Documentaries. She spent her free time filming short docs about Smash Bros. or any indie game that crossed her path.
She brings that energy to the Resident Evil piece, which reads as a fun exercise in fan fiction rather than a serious analysis. The tone is light, and the argument is playful, but it’s grounded in a genuine affection for the characters she writes about.
Why Leon Wins the Bodyguard Job
The key to Cregger’s argument is experience. Leon has been fighting zombies for years, and that makes him uniquely qualified to handle the kind of threats that might come with a Resident Evil film. The piece doesn’t offer a detailed breakdown of Leon’s skills, but it assumes that anyone who has played the games knows what he can do.
The bear hug is the punchline. Cregger suggests that Leon would simply wrap himself around his charge, providing a physical barrier against danger. It’s a ridiculous image, but it’s the kind of absurdity that makes the piece fun to read.
Jill Valentine and Billy Coen are the runner-ups, but they come with conditions. Jill is a capable fighter, and Billy has a reputation for being dangerous. Luring Billy out of the woods, however, would require some persuasion.
The Conditions on Billy
Billy Coen is a complex character in the Resident Evil series. Luring him out of the woods, according to Cregger, would be necessary before he could serve as a bodyguard.
The piece doesn’t specify what form that persuasion would take. It leaves the details vague, which fits the overall tone of the argument. The joke is that Billy is so dangerous that even asking him to help requires a significant effort.
The inclusion of Jill Valentine is simpler. She’s a skilled fighter, and her presence in the list is a nod to the broader cast of the series.
What the Piece Leaves Out
The piece is short and focused, so it doesn’t cover everything. It doesn’t explain why Leon’s bear hug would work as a defense mechanism, nor does it delve into the mechanics of the Resident Evil universe. It’s a quick read, and it’s designed to entertain rather than inform.
The absence of detail is part of the charm. The reader is left to imagine how a bear hug from Leon would actually function in a fight. That imagination is the point.
The piece also doesn’t address the practicalities of having a video game character as a bodyguard. It doesn’t consider the logistics of bringing Leon into the real world, nor does it explore the potential consequences of his presence. It simply states the preference and moves on.
The Personal Note From Elie
Elie’s note at the end of the piece adds a human element. She talks about her love of horror games and her fear of being chased. She also mentions her hobbies, including metroidvanias and her Pokemon TCG collection.
The note is a small touch, but it gives readers a sense of who is writing. Elie is clearly passionate about gaming, and her fear of being chased ties into the theme of the piece. It’s a light-hearted way to close the article, and it leaves the reader with a warm feeling about the writer.
The Bottom Line on Leon
Cregger’s argument is fun, but it’s not really persuasive. Leon is a great character, and he would make a memorable bodyguard in a movie. But the idea that he’d be better than a trained professional is a stretch.
The bear hug is a silly image, but it’s the kind of joke that works in a fan piece. It’s not a serious proposal, and nobody reading it is expected to take it literally. The piece is meant to be enjoyed, not debated.
The inclusion of Jill and Billy as runner-ups adds some variety to the argument, but it doesn’t change the basic premise. The piece makes its case through humor, not logic.
Key Facts Box
- Author: Zach Cregger, writing via PlayStation Blog
- Leon’s role: Police officer and government agent in the Resident Evil games
- Substitute choices: Jill Valentine and Billy Coen (Billy must be lured from the woods)
- Elie’s background: Staff writer at TechRadar Gaming, studied at JOMEC in International Journalism and Documentaries
- Elie’s hobbies: Metroidvanias, Pokemon TCG collection, short docs about Smash Bros.
The piece is a fun read, and it captures the spirit of the Resident Evil fandom. It’s not a deep analysis, but it doesn’t pretend to be. It’s a writer making a case for his favorite character, and he makes it with humor and enthusiasm. The result is a short, enjoyable piece that fans can enjoy without taking it too seriously.
See the a run of 70 images at PC Gamer.
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