Paul W. S. Anderson’s The Three Musketeers is a mess. Released in 2011, it tries to turn Alexandre Dumas’s classic novel into a clockwork-heavy action-adventure movie, and fails at almost everything. The result is a bloated, badly paced film that spends too much time on its premise and too little on its characters. It’s a movie that thinks spectacle trumps story, and the story loses.
Trailer, via LionsgateVOD.
A Premise That Overstays Its Welcome
The film opens in Venice, where Athos, Porthos and Aramis steal airship schematics made by Leonardo da Vinci. Milady de Winter helps them, but betrays them, selling the plans to the Duke of Buckingham. A year later, D’Artagnan leaves his village in Gascony for Paris, hoping to become a musketeer like his father. He finds out the musketeers have been disbanded.
D’Artagnan meets the three men separately and accidentally offends each one, scheduling duels with all three. Athos brings Porthos and Aramis as his seconds, and D’Artagnan realizes their true identities. Richelieu’s guards arrive to apprehend them, but the musketeers fight together and win. The king, Louis XIII, decorates them instead of executing them, thanks to Queen Anne’s intervention.
That setup is promising. It sets up a group of disgraced heroes who need each other, a young outsider who can bring them back together, and a villain with a plan to seize power. None of it lands.
The Clockwork Problem
Anderson adds clockwork elements throughout, but they don’t add anything. Airships appear, gears turn, and the world looks fanciful, but none of it connects to the plot. The schematics Athos, Porthos and Aramis steal are never used. Milady’s betrayal is about selling plans to the Duke of Buckingham, but the plans themselves are never shown doing anything.
It’s a costume detail, not a plot driver. The clockwork never moves the story forward. It just makes the world look fancier.
D’Artagnan’s Slow Burn
Logan Lerman plays D’Artagnan, and he’s fine in the role. He’s hot-headed, loyal, and earnest, which are the qualities the character needs. But the script doesn’t give him much to do. He spends the first half of the film wandering around Paris, getting insulted, and scheduling duels with men he barely knows.
The film also drags on his backstory. His father was a musketeer, which is why he wants to join. But the film doesn’t explain why the musketeers were disbanded, or what happened to his father. It just moves on.
The Musketeers Themselves
Matthew Macfadyen, Ray Stevenson and Luke Evans play Athos, Porthos and Aramis. They’re all capable actors, and they get some good scenes together. But the script doesn’t give them much either. They’re supposed to be legendary figures, but they act like they’ve been forgotten for years.
Athos is brooding, Porthos is loud, and Aramis is smooth. But the film never explains why they’re fighting, or what they hope to achieve. They’re just there to teach D’Artagnan a lesson about unity.
Milady and the Villain Plan
Milla Jovovich plays Milady de Winter, and she’s fine. She’s beautiful, cunning, and dangerous, which is exactly what the role calls for. But her plan is convoluted. Richelieu tells her to plant false love letters among Queen Anne’s possessions, steal her diamond necklace, and take it to the Tower of London. The goal is to frame Queen Anne as having an affair with the Duke of Buckingham, which would force King Louis to execute her and declare war on England.
Then, by this point, the people would demand a more experienced leader: Richelieu himself. Milady also demands that Richelieu declare in writing that she is working on behalf of France. It’s a lot of moving parts, and the film never explains them clearly enough.
The Supporting Cast
The supporting cast is strong. Mads Mikkelsen plays Captain Rochefort, leader of Cardinal Richelieu’s guard. Orlando Bloom plays the Duke of Buckingham. Christoph Waltz plays Richelieu. Gabriella Wilde plays Constance. Juno Temple plays Queen Anne.
But the film doesn’t use them well. Waltz gets a couple of good scenes, but Richelieu is mostly a voice in the background. Bloom’s Duke of Buckingham is a minor figure. Mikkelsen’s Rochefort is a threat, but not a memorable one. Temple’s Queen Anne is warm and brave, but she’s sidelined for most of the film.
The Technical Stuff
The film is shot in bright colors, with lots of gold and red. The costumes are elaborate, and the sets are grand. The score is bombastic, full of trumpets and drums. On paper, it should work.
It doesn’t. The pacing is slow, and the action scenes are scattered. There’s a fight in a church, a chase through a market, and a final battle. None of them are bad, but none of them are memorable either.
What Works
There are a few things the film gets right:
- The chemistry between Macfadyen, Stevenson and Evans when they finally fight together.
- The performance of Mikkelsen as Rochefort.
- The score, which is loud and effective.
- The visual style, which is bright and theatrical.
Those moments are rare. Most of the film is spent explaining the setup, and the setup is thin. The film runs 110 minutes, and it feels longer.
What Doesn’t Work
The film fails on almost every level. The writing is weak, the direction is confused, and the characters are thin. The clockwork elements are a gimmick, not a theme. The plot is convoluted, and the stakes are unclear.
Here’s a quick rundown of the problems:
- The clockwork elements are pointless.
- The villain plan is overly complicated.
- The supporting cast is wasted.
- The pacing is slow.
- The action scenes are scattered.
None of these are small issues. They add up to a film that doesn’t know what it wants to be.
The Verdict
The Three Musketeers is a failure. It takes a beloved novel, strips away its heart, and replaces it with a bloated action movie. The clockwork elements are a distraction, the plot is a mess, and the characters are shallow. It’s a shame, because the cast is talented. Macfadyen, Stevenson, Evans, Jovovich, Mikkelsen, Bloom, Waltz and Temple could have made a great movie. Instead, they’re stuck in a film that doesn’t serve them.
The film grossed $132 million against a production budget of $75 million. That’s a modest success, but it didn’t earn its keep. The critical reception was negative, with criticism of its writing, direction, and characters. The action sequences, score, and the performances of Macfadyen and Mikkelsen received general praise.
That praise is deserved. The rest isn’t.
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